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  • Writer's pictureCrazy Jar Lady

It IS an Oval....

For several years now, I've been fighting with an area of the yard that was originally tilled up to be a wildflower garden. That did NOT work. Each and every year, it grows up into a mess of weeds. The only thing that seems to come back is volunteer sunflowers. This year I was determined to turn this into a productive area. I want it to be a flower garden. This year it is a vegetable garden with some flowers.

Last year, I was able to get the entire area ringed in large rocks and that atleast defined it. This spring, I burnt off all the weeds so I could see what I had to work with. Then I started hauling smaller rocks to divide up the "beds". As it didn't get very far last year, it was dubbed, "The F'd Up Flower Bed".

As I've been working on this area, moving rocks, adding compost and planting in the newly defined areas; it occurred to me that the thing is oval shaped and now these beds are lining the side of the oval and running down the center. In the almost center of this oval is a Bald Cypress that I planted years ago. North of that is a small area that I'm placing pavers in to create a small seating area.

Only then did it occur to me that this thing is gonna end up looking like a vagina when I'm done. A big flowery vagina from the sky.... The beds lining the sides - labia. The flat paved area with furniture - clitoris. The tree - introitus. (Yes, we are using technical terms here.) THEN I started laughing.

And I kept on building and planting the beds. I'm not done yet, but the area has now been dubbed the "Vagina Garden" and it's stuck. Handsome calls me, "Whatcha doin'?" I'm planting in the Vagina Garden! WHY it didn't occur to me that it was egg-shaped and could have been called that, I dunno.

But here we are, I have a Vagina Garden and I'm planting it and whoever flies over my house is gonna see my Vagina Garden with it's big, tall, green introitus in the center....

I will post photos when it's growing nicely; don't hold your breath.

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