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  • Writer's pictureCrazy Jar Lady

The Great Dough Debacle

A couple years ago, Bestie came into a wealth of frozen dinner roll dough. Like cases of them. Perfectly formed balls of frozen dough with possibility written all over the boxes. This was prior to additional freezer acquisition. This was prior to my "waking up" period since life fell apart. I was also the only one in our group with ANY freezer space at all. I landed with 3 cases. THREE cases of yeast dough.

By the time she got home with the dough and then I got to my place with the dough, the boxes were starting to expand. One case, I had to remove from the box to fit inside the freezer side of the refridgerator. I called it Martha and Martha expanded to the point before she froze that she literally popped the freezer door open. I had to set a chair loaded with a full bag of dog food in front of the freezer to hold the door shut so Martha would calm down.

I love to bake. I love to be creative with recipes and come up with solutions to an influx of ingredients. I had no flipping clue what I was going to do with all this. Two cases were mine to keep. One case atleast had a different home to go to later. I wasn't even in a place mentally to worry about making treats from all this dough. Fast forward a few months and I'm starting to feel better and I want my freezer space back. Martha's friend got relocated to it's actual home. This left me with 2 cases to deal with yet.

I couldn't get Martha out of the freezer. She had expanded so perfectly to the sides of the freezer, she was impossible to remove without cutting her up. I cleaned the rest of the fridge and freezer out and unplugged it. She was gonna have to thaw to get out of her self-made prison. The next morning, Martha had thawed enough that I could cut through the thawed dough and get her out of there. I started with the first half because I wasn't ambitious enough to try and tackle a whole case worth of dough. I plugged the fridge back in and the remaining half stayed.

Martha wouldn't rise. She just laid there, dormant like a yeasty lump. I had the oven on warm to heat up the kitchen, nothing. I formed some dough into a tea ring and filled it with cream cheese and cherry filling. No rise. Hours later, I tried putting it into the oven anyway. ZERO rising happening. Martha had given up. She had given all she had to fill the freezer and make it her happy place. To say I was pissed at myself and Martha was an understatement. I was just starting to feel creative again and now this complete flop. Talk about a waste of dollars with the cheese and cherry fillings. I threw the whole thing, all the other dough I had thawed and everything into the dumpster. I grabbed the case of dough out of the other freezer and threw it away too. Then I wrestled with the remainder of Martha in the original fridge and even though I cracked a shelf bracket, got her out and thrown into the dumpster as well.

It was warm out and the dumpster grew Martha just fine. She was happy there and she could freaking stay there with her sibling in the box. That dumpster smelled so nice with the yeasty warm dough rising inside of it for a couple days. I didn't check after the following day. I'm assuming that the dough finally collapsed into a heap of gooey yuck. Good riddance.

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